My Journey

From mind to paper and back again.

All the pain of pregnancy and labour goes away…

on November 11, 2014

or so they say.  And I am inclined to believe them.  If I could remember Oliver’s pregnancy being this difficult I wouldn’t have done it again, don’t get me wrong, I would never not want to meet this new little man, but my body is struggling to cope this time around 😦

The cholestasis is bad, with scratching everywhere I have cuts, scabs and scratches all over my body – no rash, I just get really itchy to the point where I can be in tears while I am scratching but there is nothing I can do to stop myself.  The medication is helping to control the bile acid rise in my blood stream but that doesn’t control the itchiness… so I am stuck with baths and menthol aqueous creams which work for a few minutes and then it starts all over again.

Top the cholestasis off with gestational diabetes, I am on tablets three times a day for that, having to test my blood sugars after every meal as well.  Then add on  the vitamin D deficiency, the iron deficiency, and the fact that I have hypothyroidism as well and you can tell I am like a walking chemist.  On a regular day I am taking 12 tablets before the need for paracetamol because oh yes, I have just been diagnosed with SPD… no wonder I can barely walk. 

I am 32 weeks and 6 days today and my consultant has said with everything that is going on, and with the fact that I had a spontaneous labour at 36 weeks with Oliver, that I am not likely to get to 36 weeks this time, which means that the baby is likely to be here in around 3 weeks and is likely to need a short stay in the NICU as well.  This is it for me, as much as I love being a mum, two little boys are definitely enough for me, they are my world already, but I couldn’t have a third baby.  I would rather stay as healthy as possible, spend some time after Christmas cutting down and losing weight (hopefully once baby is here I will lose all my baby weight as I have only gained 7lb in total and at my last growth scan he was weighing an ounce under 4lb, so when cord, placenta, waters etc are taken into account, I don’t think I have done too badly).  I want to be able to get down on the floor with both of them and do jigsaws or play row row your boat and be able to get up again at the end of it!  I want to take them both on the park without hobbling from one thing to the next and I want to be able to carry and lift them like there is nothing wrong with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a slipped disc which I will be seeking treatment for again once the baby has arrived and I know that will impact on my quality of health, but I am determined to do everything I can to get healthier.  I get that everything I do can have an impact on things so if I can lose some weight and it eventually comes to needing another back operation, it will be a shorter recovery timescale than if I remain at my present weight.  I’m tired of being tired and at 7am I am yawning as I write this but this little man will all be worth it when he arrives x

2014-10-29 20.05.45

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