My Journey

From mind to paper and back again.

Back to work

on June 17, 2013

After 9 months and it was HARD. I admit I have been dreading this day since Oliver was born and as it got closer and closer, I got more and more worried and upset about leaving him, even though he is staying home with daddy and getting to spend time at Nana’s and Great Nanny’s.  I didn’t feel in the slightest ready when I was sorting my clothes and things out last night and this morning I felt like I was missing something as I walked out the door.

Oliver being in bed still (It was 6am) helped a little I suppose as I didn’t feel like I was leaving him behind (until I looked in the car seat while driving).  I cried when I got to work and then I cried when I spoke to my manager.  Then I spent the morning wondering if everything at home was okay.  I managed to hold off calling until my lunch break at 11.30am though.  By that time (I had been out of the house a while) I couldn’t wait.  I had to call and see how things were, and of course, they were fine.  Oliver had been chasing Pepsi and playing in his ball pit.  He was covered in rusk and dinner and daddy was complaining that they both needed a shower.

So, I went back to work and daddy took Oliver to his great Nanny’s house to play.  She got the paddling pool out with all his toys and by the time I got there at 3.30pm (one good thing about the early shift) he was fast asleep on her knee.  I got the biggest smiles when he woke up and lots of snuggles too.  Andrew said he had been good all day, no issues Sad smile I felt worse knowing that they can do it all without me in a way.

And work wasn’t too bad, I have a settling in period at least and it was nice to see adults again.  Although I know I am going to be changing teams again soon so there will be some upheaval but I will just have to take that on the chin and deal with it.  On the plus side Andrew has a test for an apprentice job next week and if it is something he does get I would be able to drop down to part time.  We won’t know for a while though if he will get it and the earliest will be August before he starts so I will have to stay full time for a while at least.

One thing I will say is I am SHATTERED! It’s just after 7pm and I am off to bed as I am back in work tomorrow at 7am, people tell me that the first day is the hardest, we will find out tomorrow x x night all x

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