My Journey

From mind to paper and back again.

Love at First Sight, A Life Writing Piece

on May 23, 2009

15 March 2008

Dear Diary,

I started talking to Andrew today on Facebook who I have loads in common with. He was in the RAF just after me and really makes me laugh. He knows a lot of the staff that were there while I was. He sent me a message towards the end of the night telling me he was going back into the RAF, I’m gutted. I’ve really enjoyed talking to him and I know I won’t be able to talk to him as much if he goes back into the RAF. It may be madness but I’ve given him my mobile number, I know we’ve only talked over the internet but I trust him and I know that Basic Training for the forces can be really difficult and it’s hard to explain it to someone who hasn’t been there before.

Andrew took the mobile number and for a few weeks I didn’t hear anything from him leaving me to get on with my life as normal. He did keep drifting in and out of my mind when I had a few minutes spare between work, sports and cadets. I wondered how he was getting on with basic training, whether he had met anyone else, I even wondered if he had thought of me at all. Each time I pushed the thought away knowing how busy he would be during his training and worried that he’d be alright.

4th April 2008

I got a text message off him today and I really thought he’d forgotten about me! He was just letting me know that it was going okay and that he has his first weekend coming home soon as well. He’s not getting on with some of the people there though. He absolutely hates it and he’s wondering why he went back in the first place. He says it’s because most of his family have been in the RAF and he’s trying to follow in their footsteps I think. I hope he gets on okay. I think I’ve persuaded him not to leave but I suppose only time will tell. There have been text messages flying back and forth all night and hopefully he’ll realise that he can do it if he really wants to.

Towards the end of May he sent me a message telling me he was coming home on sick leave. By this point I had invested in a friendship with him via text and Facebook and he seemed a genuinely nice person. I don’t know what it was that made me think this, he never seemed to come across as brash and seemed well mannered, besides he was in the RAF he couldn’t be that bad, they were all really nice when I was in. I decided to call him. I really wanted to know what the person I had been having conversations with via messages for so long sounded like. I really liked him by this point and wanted to know more. My heart was beating faster than normal and I was really nervous, it was the first time I had been since I started messaging him.

21st May 2008

I phoned Andrew today, I had butterflies in my belly when the phone started ringing and I was really nervous. It shocked me when the phone started ringing I thought I had picked up a radio signal because in the background a song was playing. We talked for a while and I asked why he was coming home on the sick, he’s injured his back and has been put on holding flight. He sounds really depressed. It was weird, I don’t know what I was expecting but he sounded different in my mind. I’m going to meet him on the bank holiday weekend, I can’t wait! His deep voice wasn’t what I was expecting but he sounded really nice, he had a sort of chuckle in his voice but he sounded as nervous as I felt. We’ve finalised arrangements for meeting up and I’ve decided to drive from Manchester to Doncaster because I really want to meet him, he’s given me his address and I’m going to drive over after work on the Friday.

Before setting off I went to Tesco’s to get a bottle of 7up and some mints for on the drive. I even bought a new lipstick. I’ve never felt so sick in all my life as when I was on the motorway driving across to Doncaster. I went through an entire pack of mints and bit off every nail through nerves. I kept going over and over in my mind what would happen when I got there, I knew what he looked like because I’d seen pictures of him but I went over the meeting time and time again. I couldn’t wait to see what way it would go. When I got to the end of the drive I didn’t even want to get out of the car, I was seriously debating turning the car around and going home. I was so nervous and I didn’t know what I was letting myself in for. He could have been a masked murderer for all I knew!

Stupid, I followed my heart 80 miles and then my head kicked in when I got there. It felt like hours before I even got from the car to the door. This was the first time that it had really dawned on me that I could have been making the biggest mistake of my life, I started to worry, even though people knew where I was going I was still eighty miles away from home and if anything went wrong there’d be no one there to help me. I pulled up in the driveway, switched the car engine off but left the key in the ignition in case I decided to turn around and go home instead. All sorts of scenarios started running through my head. I pulled out my make up case and freshened up after the hour and half drive before I readied myself to go and knock on the door. It felt like an age before I managed to get out of the car walk down the garden path and ring the bell. When it opened I had to strain my neck to look into the face of the person that stood on the other side of it. Aside from his height the only other thing that I noticed straight away were the crutches, he was leaning heavily on them which may sound awful but in a way I felt safer. I knew I could run faster than someone on crutches. He was tall, his blonde hair had been cut short to military regulations and his blue eyes were more of a hazel colour hidden behind his glasses. My heart was swooning and I didn’t know what to say, luckily I didn’t have to try and think of anything as he invited me in and offered me a cup of coffee, otherwise I’d have been stood on the doorstep ten minutes later looking like an imbecile.

2nd June 2008

Andrew took me for a lovely meal tonight, a little countryside style pub called The Maple, set back in a country area, a big difference to Manchester. The music was really quiet in the background but it was soothing and I really enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere and had a really good night. We both had lasagne and salad with cheese cake for pudding, the food was lovely. We didn’t have to work hard to find something to talk about as the conversation drifted naturally from the RAF to family and work before going onto each other. When we got home we sat watching The Simpsons on television into the early hours. I’ve never felt so comfortable from the start with anyone else before. I’ve never known someone be such a gentleman! I wasn’t expecting to stay for so long but it turned into a full weekend instead of a night and it seems like we’re going out. We get on really well. We went to bed together and watched PS I Love You leaning against the cushions, I didn’t see the end though as I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning alone which made me feel really respected. For the rest of the weekend we went out shopping in the local area at Lakeside Village on the Sunday and then I drove home. I felt a real sense of loss as I drove home alone, I felt completely comfortable while I was there and didn’t want to leave.

After only a month of dating and seeing each other on weekends only, we got engaged. Andrew has left the RAF and we’ve moved in together and are planning our wedding. The chance I took has changed my life; I’m living in a new area and am enjoying myself more. I’m glad I took the risk.

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